time, talents, and treasures

these are the resources i have been given to live a meaningful life and to conceptualize and realize the purpose of my existence.


time.

i must differentiate what is real time, and what is virtual time.

real time is “the now.” now—this moment, this second—is the time to cherish life. i live in “the now.” living in the past could paralyze me. living in the future is a dream. “the now” is like absolute reality. “the now” is the real time. real time is qualitative time.

virtual time refers to the clock—seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries… it is the time that is a product of human conceptualization to measure the passage of “the now”—so we may not waste the precious now. the virtual time is useful for measuring what has been done in the past and what must be done in the future. but the most important use of virtual time is to appreciate or enhance who i am in “the now,” in the context of my relationships. virtual time is quantitative time.


talents.

the sum total of all the natural gifts and all the acquired knowledge and skills are the ones i refer to as talents. one may have been given the gift to sing; but such gift must be harnessed and sharpened either in a karaoke bar or in a conservatory. my talents are like perfume—i have to let it go from the inside to the outside of my self for everyone to enjoy its fragrance. and just like perfume, talents are to be smelled; i must be careful not to drink it.

talents are vehicles of blessings. a talented singer can be a good entertainer; but beyond entertainment, a talented singer can be the creator’s instrument to encourage a discouraged heart, to bring clarity to a confused mind, to energize a weakened will.

do i sing? no. i’m just using it as an illustration here. my talent is communications. i articulate my own perception and my humble experience of life and reality in a way that others might gain something from it. i seek to excel in public speaking to help groups of people who are working together to become motivated and effective teams. as my friends always tell me during our karaoke happenings, “dante, when you sing, our patience are enhanced; but when you give a seminar, our hearts are motivated and our minds are filled… get it?”


treasures.

treasures are not all about money. they’re more than that. treasures are about wealth and power. wealth brings power. power brings wealth. more power brings more wealth. more wealth brings more power. ad infinitum… this can be good. this can be evil. treasures are like a sharp scalpel—it can be used to heal when it’s in a surgeon’s hand, or it can be used to kill when it’s in a murderer’s hand.

treasures can be possessed by humans to do good and to enjoy what can be consumed through it. however, the tendency of most humans is to be possessed by treasures until they—along with the ones they love, and along with their enemies— are consumed by it.

to maximize the enjoyment of wealth and power, i must first go through a purification of heart. it can be done through a process of submission to a moral-ethical teaching and exercise. i must search my heart whether i can be entrusted with 10 pesos to benefit my life and other people’s lives, before i can be entrusted with 10,000,000 pesos to affect my life and other people’s lives. is my heart focused on using people to gain wealth and power, or is my heart focused on using wealth and power to help people?

the use of my monetary currency depends on my heart’s tendency. as jesus of nazareth have taught his followers: “for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

time. talents. treasures. no, i’m not entitled to own them. yes, i’m entrusted to manage them.

the purpose of my existence is to make my creator happy—by doing what i perceive to be pleasing to the eyes of the one who gave me life. i believe the creator is happy when i use my time, talents, and treasures to love the creator with all my being, and to love my neighbors as i love myself.

the leader i will follow

the kind of leader i will follow is

a person with—
a heart of a servant,
a soul of a mentor,
a mind of a manager, and
the strength of a leader.

heart of a servant.
true servants have
a real sense of inner security,
a genuine sense of greatness—
enough to be truly humble.
for all true great leaders are humble servants.

soul of a mentor.
mentors are serving teachers.
mentors are also teaching servants.
their students respect them,
not merely because of their words of knowledge,
but mostly because of their works of wisdom.

mind of a manager.
effective managers accomplish tasks
through well-trained people.
well-trained and competent people are
the products of good mentorship.
competent and effective people are
motivated by servant-mentors.

strength of a leader.
the leader’s strength is her or his—
moral authority as a servant,
proven multiplication of learners as a mentor,
accomplishment of tasks as a manager.
people follow this kind of leader
primarily because of internal motivations,
not just because of external motivations.

if leadership is a pyramid
the foundation must be one’s desire to serve,
which will be the basis of
one’s credibility to be a mentor,
which will be the basis of
one’s qualification to manage,
which will be the basis
of one’s authority to lead.

it may be very difficult to find
all these virtues in one person—
like moses, gautama, jesus,
mohammed, ghandi, teresa, mandela…
that’s why it’s necessary to form a team
consisting of various people—
heart of a servant,
soul of a mentor,
mind of a manager, and
strength of a leader.

i dream to be this kind of a leader.

my understanding of true love

for me,

true love is committing one’s self
with the mind,
with the heart, and
with the will.

the mind helps us
to analyze reality as they are—
to be objective and to be truthful.

the heart helps us
to love beyond the limitations of reality—
to be romantic and to be passionate.

the will is our power
to make daily decisions to love
even when the body grows old,
and even when the money runs out—
to be faithful no matter what.

mature love is
intellectual,
emotional, and
volitional.

this is the love
that would avoid marital disintegration
and even spousal abuse
when sexual and financial highs
are not that high anymore.

this is wholistic love.

this is real love.

am i in-loved?

four harmonious relationships--my ultimate dream

one. i dream to have a harmonious relationship with the creator. in the ancient hebrew tradition, the proper name of god must not be uttered. this is important to me because it emphasizes that god cannot be “boxed.” to worship god means to acknowledge god to be at the highest position in my worth-list; thus, worth-ship. no attachments to persons and things… no idolatry. even our conceptions of god—whether jewish, islam, christian, etc.—cannot be the object of attachment.

the worship of matter is the most enslaving idolatry we’re facing today. this, i think, is the subtle religion of globalization. the worshippers of matter tend to "thingify" people. it becomes easy to oppress and exploit people when they are seen as things.

thus, it’s important for me to worship god—but not under the dictates of any institutionalized religion.

two. i dream to have a harmonious relationship with my ‘self.’ this is about my identity. i am a person-in-community, not a consumer-in-the-marketplace. on one hand, “self” can be understood as soul, living being, life, person. this is the relational-spiritual attribute that i share with other human beings and with the creator. on the other hand, “self” can also be understood as desire, appetite, emotion, passion. this is the basic instinct that i share with animals. when my self is merely regarded as consumer-in-the-marketplace, i’d limit my "self-ness" to the basic animal instincts of my humanity. this is the easy target of advertisements that lull and manipulates human beings.

in my perspective, the harmonious self—the wholeness of soul, life, personality, desire, appetite, emotion, and passion that characterize me as a living being—lead a person to live a full life. “full life” is not defined by what i have but by who i am in the context of relationships.

three. i dream to have a harmonious relationship with others. i am convinced that all human beings from all cultural-religious backgrounds are called to love others as neighbors and not to treat others as competitors.

in our era of globalization the other is treated as a competitor. in this view, one's relationship is usually determined by the question, "how can i get ahead?" the successful ones are described as the winners. the one's who are left behind—economically, politically, socially—are considered losers.

in my perspective, humans are called to treat the other as a neighbor to be loved as one's self. the poor must be embraced justly as an integral part of the community. the problem with humanity is not the lack of religious-philosophical teachings on how to treat others. the problem is the lack of application of the golden rule that is common to almost all of us.

four. i dream to have a harmonious relationship with nature. in my perspective, i see nature as an organic world, not merely as a mechanical world. in a mechanical view of the world, the emphasis is exploitation. if one of the parts of the machine-world is not functioning, the tendency is to replace it. hence, in globalization, the natural resources can be exploited for the present, and then later, it can be substituted with technological products and solutions.

in an organic world, the emphasis is stewardship and loving care of the creation. the creation story—that is common to jewish, muslims, and christians—tells us that the creator formed the mortal (or adam) from the dust of the ground (or adamah) and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and the mortal became a living being. we all came from the ground. we were named after the ground. we are one with creation. we were breathed with life. that is the story of our being alive! when the creator commanded us to subdue the earth, it means to care for, to keep, to watch, and to preserve it.

my harmony with nature is the key to effective management of my ecological and economic resources—however scarce they may be.

being, doing, having: the journey is also the destiny

being. doing. having.

this is what i’m learning so far
as i journey through life.

the majority, however, choose a path
that is the opposite
of what i am learning:
having, doing, being.

first, they start with “having.”
they say, in effect:
“if i have enough wealth,
then i will be able to do
what i want to accomplish in life.”

second, they proceed with “doing.”
they say, “if i can do all the requirements
to attain a certain position, then
i will have power and freedom
to be the person i want to be.”

third, they focus on “being.”
they say, “i will be the person i want to be
if i can find the happiness and pleasure
this world can offer.”

the above path is the most popular approach.
i tried it, and it didn’t work for me.

why?

growing up with scarce resources,
i didn’t have much.
if i based what i can do
on what i did have,
i would not have done much.
if i were not able to do much, then
i could have not grown up into
the kind of the person i dreamed to be.

i say, it should be:
first, being.
second, doing.
third, having.

i will always start focusing on my “being”—
this is about who i am.
this is about character development.
this is about determining
the bases of my identity.
who am i?
where did i come from?
where am i going?

i will proceed by focusing on “doing”—
this is about what i can do.
this is about my career, my abilities,
my accomplishments, my occupation.

i will continue by focusing on “having”—
this is about the products of what i do.
this is the sum total of all the resources that
have been entrusted to me
as a steward-manager
of my time, talents, and treasures.

being determines doing;
doing determines having.
it’s not the other way around.

i haven’t achieved exactly
the dream i have
about the person i want to be.

but so far, i have been
enjoying the journey.
and the journey is as important
as the destination.

in the path of being, doing, and having,
the journey is also the destiny.

when i grow up to really love a woman

…i will listen, and listen more, to the woman i love. i will listen to her spoken words, focusing on what she desires to communicate, rather than interpret her words into what i want to hear. i will listen to her mind, knowing that her wisdom enhances my knowledge. i will listen to her heart because the heart has its intuitive reasons beyond the rationality of the logical mind. i will listen to her non-verbal communication modes—for if i cannot hear her when she’s silent, how can i hear her when she’s talking?

…i will look into her eyes when we speak with each other. i will look with appreciation that she’s in front of me, looking into my eyes, the window of my soul. i will look into her eyes with respect, acknowledging that she has the power of discernment to tell the difference between my truth-telling and my attempts to lie. i will look into her eyes to say to her heart that she’s beautiful—an expression of admiration beyond what words can describe. i will look into her eyes to say that i love her; a love that is beyond my so-called macho capacity; a love that is tamed by a realization that i cannot produce love from my limited heart; rather, i will open my heart and mind to be a channel of true love from the heavenly source of love—such love is unselfish, unconditional, eternal.

…i will taste her breath with my gentle kiss. yes, i will taste her breath. yes, i will kiss her with a gentle kiss. when i really love a woman, i am one with her. we have one breath. we have but one life. a respectful, loving kiss is sharing of such one breath, sharing of our one life. such sharing of life is sensual—mutually satisfying our sense of taste and our sense of touch. an exploitative kiss, a mere lustful kiss, would not know the mystery, the passion, the spirituality and the ecstasy of this unselfish, giving, dignified, life-sharing, breath-giving kiss. the kiss between me and the woman i love would be the kind of sweet taste that is sacred, holy, divine. this is the kind of kiss i will kiss her with at the altar of our wedding.

…i will touch her with respect and praise. respect because she is the personified love to me. when a woman loves a man, it is not because the man deserves her. she, and her love, is an expression of divine grace. grace is something i receive though i do not deserve. i will touch the woman of my love with much praise—praise to the creator who graced me with her, and praise to the woman i love for allowing herself to be the channel of divine grace to me. i will touch her because our flesh are one. therefore, my touch will be full of grace, respect, admiration, and praise because her body is my body and my body is her body. i will not do anything to hurt my body; therefore, i will not do anything to hurt her body. i will seek to give her the soft and gentle touch that her skin and body tissues would remember as good touch. not the abusive touch. not the exploitative touch. not the oppressive touch. and when it is time for us to express the unity of our bodies, i will give her the freedom whether or not i should enter her sacred body, when to enter her sacred body, and how to enter her sacred body. and when our bodies both have experienced oneness, i will look into her eyes, taste her breath with passionate kisses, and listen to her arrival at the apex of our physical and spiritual intercourse—so that even on that mountain, we will arrive as one.

…i will smell her everyday—her body, her soul, her spirit. i will smell the fragrance of her body, because her body is my body. our bodies are the aspects of our humanity that helps us commune with each other—through touch, taste, hearing, sight, and smell. i will smell her soul, knowing that as the body grows old, the soul becomes more beautiful. a mature and loving soul is always a refreshing fragrance, extending one’s energy in the midst of the daily stresses of life. our souls are the aspect of our humanity that helps us commune with each other through our intellect, emotion, and volition. i will smell her spirit, knowing that our spirits are the aspects of our humanity that help us commune with each other and with the divine.