a confession of my inability to understand the sufferings caused by typhoon "yoyong"

i do not pretend to be more knowledgeable than you, creator-god. if indeed you are all-wise and all-understanding, then in your infinite wisdom, you must genuinely understand the anger and the pain i experience along with my brothers and sisters whose lives are devastated by the typhoon yoyong (international code name: nanmadol).

i do not understand why more than 1000 people are either missing or presumed to be dead because of this natural calamity--which is referred to as “an act of god” in the legal and religious jargons. how would a mother who lost her baby son two days ago appreciate the celebration of that child born in bethlehem two thousand years ago? if everything you do has a purpose, then what’s the purpose for these series of typhoons?

i do not understand why thousands of families among the poorest in an already poor country are kicked out of their already inadequate homes? i cannot help but cry for that sick young woman who had to be carried by the men from her community for more than eight hours--on their feet--through gashing winds and pouring rain! how could this calamity bring happiness to barely surviving families as they face the new year?

i do not understand why the government of the philippines has ignored my fellow environmental activists when we were shouting against logging--whether legal or illegal--knowing that such ecologically disastrous activities will ultimately ruin our beautiful land and would kill many human and non-human lives. then, at the heart of devastation in quezon province, president gloria macapagal-arroyo announced her appointment of victor corpus to head the investigation of illegal logging, pointing fingers at the n.p.a. rebels. how about widening the scope of blame and look also at some government officials and local logging families with strong malacanang connections? would the president and victor corpuz have the backbone to investigate them too? it is nice to lay blame on others when disaster hits. but basic responsible leadership must first assess their own actions, find out their own weaknesses, and honestly correct their own mistakes. sometimes, it is politically convenient to make on-the-spot policies in the middle of a calamity. emergency response is a good thing. it’s called “intuitive insight.” and yet, wise governance must use a lot of future-oriented planning. it's called “strategic foresight.” before these calamities, the environmental laws that were in place should have been enforced without respect to political connections!

i do not understand so many things. that is why i suffer with those victims, particularly with some of them who do not understand. their suffering is my suffering. their pain is my pain. that’s why i bow my heart and my mind--yes, my whole being--to you, creator-god. and i have to do it daily, or else my anger will cease to be a justice-oriented anger and would degenerate into bitterness. i do not want to serve in anger and in bitterness.

now that i have expressed my pain and have confessed my inadequate understanding, renew my heart with a positive attitude. clear up my mind from my inadequate analysis. help me to act effectively. make my life useful today for the victims of typhoon yoyong as one of the many filipino-canadian volunteers here in vancouver.